You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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