I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
