well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
