Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize