Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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