in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I did not marry a roomba.
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