his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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