hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
