weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
