i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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