Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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