am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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