You smell like stripper and shame
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize