Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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