Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
