my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
