He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
