YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
