Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
