I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
