I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize