closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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