That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
