Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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