she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
