I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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