this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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