we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
