a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
