Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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