One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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