Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
