dude i'm inner monologue high
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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