O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
