did you get engaged???
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
