id be glad to
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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