What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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