I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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