Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
