I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
