I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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