im drinking this country out of the recession.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
