Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
