I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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