Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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