Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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