Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize