Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
