Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
