If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
