if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
