What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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