I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
