does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
