How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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