I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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