i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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