dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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