i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
