As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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