Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
