So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
not ubering you a puppy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
