I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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