I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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